Guilt and Stress-Free
By Nikki Willhite
Life is complicated for today's modern women. There is just too
much to do, and not enough time or energy to do it.
Turn the clock back 25 years, and the situation for women was
quite different. Although not as many women worked, women were
expected to "do it all".
I remember my life back in those days. I remember sewing
clothing for my family, knitting, crocheting, cross stitch,
baking bread, gardening, canning, freezing, and dehydrating food,
all the while nurturing my children, helping with homework,
paying bills, driving, cleaning, and endless volunteer work.
And yet....today, be it possible, life has gotten more hectic.
The problem is that now, when working outside the home has been
added to the equation for many of us, it is difficult to let go
of the guilt associated with not doing all of the things that for
so many years were expected of us.
Personally, many times I have felt that I was running down a road
to a destination I didn't even want to reach.
If you are a 40 plus women, and you are experiencing these type
of feelings, it is time to sit down and have a chat with
Times have seriously changed. Everyone is seriously busy. A lot
of people in the work force are now doing the work of 3 people.
Even if you are one of the lucky ones who still have a
comfortable work environment, you may be feeling the stress of a
loved one who is in this situation.
We have now arrived at the point where self-protection is
necessary for our health, and it begins with us.
There are some things we can't change. Our work load, the
technologically advancing world, and the high cost of living may
be with us for many years.
IF YOU FEEL BURDENED, THEN HERE IS SOME ADVICE THAT MAY HELP YOU.
FIRST OF ALL- accept the fact that the world has changed and it is
okay for you to change also. It is okay to "let go" of the
expectations of the past.
You must set new priorities. As far as your time, work will be
your first priority. As far as your life, YOU are your first
priority. You must make time for yourself and the things you
enjoy, or you are not going to enjoy life, and you may get sick.
And that is not going to help anyone.
Once you have accepted that you can change, you have an empty
slate. It is time to decide what you want to do with the time
not spent at work.
Don't waste any time feeling badly about things you can no longer
do. They sell ready-made bread in the store, you can pick up
soft chenille throws, and last time I looked, Costco sells canned
food by the case.
STOP and think about what you REALLY want to do.
Your best friend may keep beautiful scrapbooks of her family's
activities, but if that is not what you want to do, just say
"no", and put your pictures in a photo box.
No one can have it all, and no one can do it all. Let everything
that is not essential go.
Find those one or two things that you really enjoy doing, and
make time for them.
We may not be able to change the world, but we can change
ourselves. Let go of any guilt for things you no longer have
time to do. Focus on what brings you joy, and don't feel guilty
This is about as close as many of us can come to living the
Should you find yourself slipping in your thought patterns, just remember this-
a messy house won't kill you. Stress will.
About the Author: Nikki Willhite, mother of three, and an Interior Design
Graduate, is the editor of The Pennypincher Ezine and Tightwad Tidbits Daily.
Visit her at
http://www.allthingsfrugal.com - more than just money!