5 Tips on Surviving a Breakup
By Robbie T. James
Having trouble getting over your ex? Regardless of whether your ex left you or whether you broke up with them, getting over someone with whom you were in a close relationship can be more than a little difficult. That’s because there is now a huge hole in your heart and in your life. And, it is not easy to fill up that space with anything. Of course, people all over the world in your very situation are surviving through what you are now attempting to survive. And, getting through this is a real possibility for you, too.
Here are 5 tips on surviving a breakup:
1. Let the hurt out:
Whether you are a man or a woman, a guy or a girl, pain is an inevitable part of life. Considering the fact that grieving for your ex can be likened to getting over the death of a loved one, it is no secret that you are going to feel a lot of pain during this time. And, one of nature’s solutions to helping us get over pain is to cry. Know that it is okay to cry and let it all out as you feel the pain of your breakup. If you are not moved to cry, there are other ways to let the hurt out, such as laughter, journaling, or even letting out a huge scream or two. Truth is, the pain may not all come out at once. But, if you try these things repeatedly, as the mood and opportunity allow, you will be able to let the hurt out in a healthy, effective way.
2. Decide if your relationship is really over:
Once you have gotten a little bit of perspective on your situation due to having let some of the hurt out, you are in a better position to face some very fundamental decisions. Specifically: deciding whether or note your relationship is really over. Coming to terms with this is an important decision point for you. Only once you truly decide in your heart whether things are really over will you be in the position to move forward in your life.
3. Exchange personal property with your ex:
If you have decided that it is best for both you and your ex that the relationship never be revived, then so be it. In that case, many people have found it wise to symbolically finalize things with him or her by giving back each other’s personal property. Arrange to meet your ex and exchange any lingering personal effects or other property you still have in each other’s possession. Once this is completed, you are ready for “the ritual” (see step 4).
4. Hold your own end-of-relationship ritual:
Okay, you have exchanged your personal property, which is a very tangible symbol of the end of your relationship with your ex. Now, it is time to do something symbolic for yourself. I call it the end-of-relationship ritual. First, I suggest that your ritual incorporate the following two things: a. a letter from or picture of your ex; b. a place or location that is special to you, personally. As to the details of the ritual, this part is entirely up to you. Some examples that I have used are burning one of your ex’s letters at night at the beach, or releasing a picture of your ex attached to a balloon. Note that the purpose of this is not some sort of creepy relationship voodoo concerning your ex. Rather, it is a symbolic effort designed to get over them and survive your breakup.
5. Depend on your friends and family for support:
It is important that you trust and depend upon your friends during this tough time in your life. Until you meet the next special flame (or until you rekindle your relationship with your ex), you are headed for a serious romantic hiatus. So, take advantage of the comfort that your non-romantic relationships can bring to you.
Surviving a breakup is never easy. Start by facing your pain and letting the hurt out. Then, decide whether your relationship is really over. If it is over, exchange personal property with your ex and take part in your own end-of-relationship ritual to seal the deal. Finally, rely on the support of friends and family. If, on the other hand, you think your relationship might be worth saving, you owe it to yourself to do what it takes to rekindle your love and get on with your life together.