By Kelly Jo Murphy
Do you believe that mothering can actually be easy?
Many of you don't. But we can change that! :)
I am about to have my third baby and the transition is going
very joyfully and easy. How is this possible? There are so many variables to
weigh in the mix?
I am releasing the need to control the outcome.
I am letting go of the attachment to how I THINK it should all
I am listening to my heart as I take each moment, moment by
For instance, our sleeping arrangements have been very "unusual"
from day 1. Back and forth from this bed to that bed and back again.
Several months ago, we bought bunkbeds for the boys so they
could get used to continuously sleeping in their own beds, since Lena, our
newest addition, will be sleeping next to me on the "big bed."
Up until one week ago, it was going very nicely. I thought,
"Wonderful, they will stay in their beds and when Lena comes, she will sleep
next to me. No problem!"
But, the boys started creeping back into our bed in the middle
of the night. And then wanted to sleep there all night.
At first, I thought, "Oh no, what's going to happen now?" But,
my heart knew what to do.
It told me, "They are feeling insecure right now and just need
reassurance that you will always be there for them, especially after Lena comes.
Let them sleep with you and their fears will vanish. They will move back into
their own beds when the time is right."
And that is exactly what I am doing. I feel sooooo much more joy
and ease in following my heart than if I would have listened to the "shoulds" in
Whenever I do this, everything ALWAYS works out for the best,
one way or another.
Letting go of the need to control the outcome has opened up MORE
options based on my heart and what is really important to me in my mothering.
Where in your mothering could you let go of the need to control
the outcome? Where could you listen to your heart more and be open to what it
has to say?
Look over your mothering experience. Is there a place where you
are trying to control and solve your children's problems for them? Or a
Non-attachment from the outcome does not mean you do not love
your children. It means you are looking at the bigger, higher picture. And then
acting from there. You are listening to the voice inside YOU that knows a
And, releasing the need to control their reaction, as well, is
about loving them for who they are, not who you wish they were. This brings you
to a place where you can find the right moment to insert a thought, a touch, or
love into their lives so that empowers them to be all they can be, instead of
all you think they "should" be.
A big one for us mothers is trying to bail our children out of
"their problems." When you do that, you are just reinforcing that they can not
handle what life brings them. Trust that they can handle it and listen to your
heart as it guides you in helping them to figure out their own problems.
And above all else, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! That is what you are
"here" to do anyway! Enjoy!
Kelly Jo Murphy is a Certified Parent Coach, Artist, Wife, Mom and an all
around silly little girl. She helps parents add more fun, ease and
fulfillment to their parenting and their own lives. To sign up for her free
ezine, send a blank email to