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Category:  Inspirational

Related Links:  | Inspirational | Attitude | Courage | Goals | Happiness | Self-Esteem |

No Focus

 Life's Pinball Machine

by Kathy Gates

When people say they don't have any focus, it usually means that they don't know where they're going.  Because the truth of the matter is, we all move toward whatever it is that we are focused on.  If you shift constantly from one thing to another, you'll feel like you're caught in a pinball machine. 

And the only reason you'd do that, is because you don't know where you want to go.

For example, let's say that you have decided to pursue a college degree in Journalism.  So would you sign up for lots of biology classes, and math courses?  Of course not.  

The same with your life.  Are you signed up for lots of things that don't fit with what you want to be happening in your life? Is your big picture out of focus? 

With the full picture in mind, you can make a decision to eat the cake, or not.  You can decide to let go of some things, or live with the clutter. You decide when to go to bed, what you watch on TV, how you spend time.  It fits or it doesn't. 

The details of your life are like bits of a jigsaw puzzle.  Each piece plays an integral part in the whole picture.  A constant change of focus due to distractions is hard on your mental and emotional well being, much less actually accomplishing anything!  Try these ideas to help keep things in focus. 

Consider the physics 

Remember the law of physics that says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Well, folks, for every Yes in your life, there is always a corresponding No.  If you say Yes to something, consider what you have also said No to. Working late = less time with family.  Eating ice cream = unhealthy calories.  Overspending = no financial security.   Choose your Yes's carefully. 

Space Monkeys

We all have a tendency to think that if we just keep plugging along, someday our great happy life will just fall out of the sky and we'll feel motivated and inspired.  But the reality is that our environments work on us -- not the other way around. Think of it this way.  When you're on a beautiful beach, with a light wind blowing, don't you tend to smile and feel good?  Same person in a room with loud music, jumbles of stuff that you can't get around, will feel crowded and stressed.  Work on creating an environment -- your space -- that supports what you want in your life. 

Systems are a girl's best friend 

Do you have a weekly manicure?  A monthly hair color appointment?  Those are systems, things that keep you focused on a result you want.  The same way you set up a manicure, set up other systems in your life.  If you always pay bills on Tuesday evening, when it pops into your mind on Sat morning, you won't go running in a panic to pay bills -- you'll know you have a system in place.  If you get a firm hold on the systems in your life, you'll get hold of your life. 

Make a Decision, Not just a Choice

The difference in a decision and a choice, I think is that a choice comes up over and over and you have to make it over and over.  If you've made the decision in advance, you have the "No, Thank You" already written and practiced in your head.  A decision is something you don't have to think about or argue with yourself about.  A vegetarian doesn't have to debate whether she'll have meat; she's made a decision.  You don't negotiate with yourself about whether to brush your teeth in the morning.  That decision was made long ago.  Take things out of the ‘choice' realm, and make a final decision.  Case closed. 

Get out of life's pinball machine!  Make a new habit to take just 30 minutes each week dedicated to getting the whole picture.  Plan it, protect it, use it to your best advantage. With the whole picture in full view, you'll easily move out of life's pinball machine, make consistent decisions, and stay on track to a happier, healthier life.  

Kathy Gates is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach in Scottsdale Arizona who specializes in focus and motivation.  She will coach you via email or telephone, your choice.  Take a look at Real Life Coach ( for more information.   


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Category:  Inspirational

Related Links:  | Inspirational | Attitude | Courage | Goals | Happiness | Self-Esteem |

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