Happiness Is Diversity
by Kathy Gates
Low carb is not the right diet for everyone. Bungee-jumping is
not the sport for everyone. Condo living is not a comfortable
living arrangement for everyone. And there is no set blueprint
for your life either.
You have needs, wants, dreams, and a history that make your life
different than anyone else’s. Life is about diversity.
Formal Victorian style is not at all the right approach to a
home for me with large dogs and foster kittens; but my
streamlined casual style works well. My friend on the other
hand would never be happy in a home with all tile floors, it’s
just not sophisticated enough for her. “I need carpet and fancy
drapes, and live plants”, she laughs.
And I would look silly in super-low-cut jeans; but then my 20
year old niece would not welcome the tailored suits I often
My message is simple -- Happiness lies in that sacred place
where you create the diversity that makes your life yours.
Happiness lies where self acceptance and self improvement meet.
Not just your decorating style, or your choice of jeans --but
your ideals, your passions, what makes you smile.
In order for happiness to live with you, your life must reflect
what makes sense to you. What you love, what you care about,
what you treasure, what you find interesting and important.
When I first moved to Arizona over 15 years ago now, I had been
working with my husband running jobsites for a large
construction company. I wanted to do something else when we
made the move, but he asked me to stay, and I agreed. It was,
after all, what we had been doing all along. Who was I to rock
I stayed for 2 years, and I did a decent job; but I also was
very stressed, and added to his stress, because I was unhappy
with my choice. I went to work barely on time, I took every
second of my lunch hour, left as early as I could get away with.
My heart wasn’t in it.
After the 2 years, I was able to go back to school and start my
Coaching Business. Originally, I put in 50 hours a week, never
got tired, bored, wanted to quit. Years later, I still don’t
get tired. Ok, that’s not true, but I don’t get sick-and-tired,
if you know what I mean.
I wouldn’t make it as a rock star. I could never be a chef, or
a surgeon. But Life Coaching I love. I found happiness in the
variety of life that fits me. You can too!
But even with the beauty of diversity, there are of course some
basics. Just like in decorating, or fashion style, living a
great life involves knowing some basic skills and putting in
some foundation pieces. A great paint job won’t help a wall
that cracked and peeling!
Start with the basics, and then from there, it becomes a
creative effort that reflects your own personality, your own
interests, your own message to the world.
1. Screen out things that aren’t important to you.
2. Put your effort in the right places.
3. Clearly define your priorities.
4. Build reserves into your life.
5. Identify and eliminate energy zappers.
6. Manage your self-talk.
7. Eliminate overwhelm through daily action.
Every day that you work hard on being optimistic and
strengthening things that are meaningful and important to you,
there is less room for unhappiness or self pity. Happiness is
being YOU, the very best “you” that you can be.
Kathy Gates is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach in
Scottsdale Arizona who specializes in focus and motivation. She
will coach you via email or telephone, your choice. Take a look
at Real Life Coach, then contact her at
or call 480.998.5843