How to Really Enjoy Christmas
By Susan Dunn
I'm known in my family as the original Christmas Elf. I've
always loved Christmas and thought it was created just for
me. And this even when for many years I held jobs that
escalated dramatically during December.
I thought I'd share ten ways to make the most of this
wonderful season, not because I'm any sort of expert, but
because I love it. I like to learn from someone who loves
what they teach, don't you?
1. It's all about warm feelings.
You are creating memories for yourself and for those around
you. Stay in the moment and don't dwell on past occasions,
because this one coming up will be "the best Christmas yet."
I have said that every year!
2. Bake, bustle and bedeck.
Yes, it takes work, but like labor (as in childbirth) it's
one of the times when your work really pays off big time.
The point is that it is different, so let it be different.
Fill the house with the smell of ginger, chocolate and
cinnamon. Go out in the yard, cut holly and greens and drape
them everywhere drapable. Put reindeer horns on the dog,
mistletoe in the office break room, a big red bow on the
mailbox, and definitely a big wreath on the front of your
And while you're at it, make a tiny scarf or tiny Santa
cap for the "Jack" on your antenna. Wear a Christmas tie,
Santa earrings, a decorated sweater and jingle bells on your
ankles (use the dog collar). Bustle, do more, get in the
spirit. Yes, you're busy. You're busy doing wonderful and
fun things, and your heart can be full of the people you're
doing this for.
Because I have learned ...
You could be just as busy preparing for your mother's funeral
- same deal - food, houseguests, cleaning, travel, in-laws,
worrying about budget, arrangements. Get it?
3. Spread good cheer.
Many people do have a hard time with the holidays. If you
don't, let your light shine on the corners of others'
darkness. When I hear someone say, "I can't handle this," or
"I'm overwhelmed," or "There's too much to do and I'm tired.
Aren't you?" I bellow out good and loud -- NOT ME!
4. It's only "commercialized" if you let it be.
Everything in life is "commercialized". Or not. My dear
friend Ann McGlone told me years ago what fun she had
figuring out the greatest vacation on the least amount of
money. She was incredibly creative about it and I had the
good fortune to do many events for charities with her, and I
adopted her ways and applied them broadly. I recommend it.
5. Christmas works on any budget.
Yes, it's hard if you're really facing a "hard-candy
Christmas," but it's at those times that we're often at our
best. Stripped of our "lucre power," we are left with "us" -
imperial, proud and true. In truth, the things you DO with
people, and the way you ARE with people are the greatest
gifts you can ever give, and they are increasingly rare.
6. The perfect gift?
Giving of yourself. It requires no money whatsoever. What's
demanding about going out and buying her a sapphire ring? On
the other hand, would you take the time, effort, and empathy
to create an occasion designed for her enjoyment, which for
any man, woman or child would be a time of your
unconditional, undivided, unadulterated attention?
7. Love yourself and love the season, but focus on others.
My many years raising funds for charities gave me a unique
opportunity to see it's really true - it's the giver who
gets the gift.
It is great fun to sit down and think about who really
needs some help. Mita's husband is in Iraq. Babysit for
her one Saturday so she can go shop for the kids and have
lunch out with a friend. Give a Christmas party for the
kids down at the shelter. (Tip: Buy the very best candy,
not the cheap bag stuff. The difference will be all yours.)
Make homemade dog biscuits and deliver them to the animal
shelter. If you're of another faith, volunteer to staff the
homeless shelter Christmas Eve, or to staff the hospital ER
Christmas Day. Put a jinglebell collar on your lovable Lab
and take her to the nursing home. Call the dear octogenarian
at your church and make a date to take her for a drive to
look at Christmas lights and enjoy a little hot chocolate
and Russian tea cakes with you afterwards.
8. Find the sacred moments and don't be afraid to cry.
The joyous part we talk about, but when you sit down finally
at the end of a long day in your rocker in front of the
beautiful Christmas tree to rest for a moment and enjoy the
beauty, and put on your Luciano Pavorotti video and listen
to him sing that duet with his arm around that precious
little boy who looks up at him as he hits the high notes,
innocently and easily, as little boys do, and the tears well
up as you remember such a little boy who now has whiskers on
his cheeks and is 6'2" and has a little boy of his own, let
them. It's an emotional time. That's what memories are made
9. Love the Scrooges
They are there and you will hear them. There are people for
whom there's always something wrong with something, and this
is just the next "something." Same issue, new venue. Get
your mantras ready. Here's one I use, with my big holiday
smile - "That's okay. I'll enjoy it for you then, and get
twice as much fun out of it!" As if it were a zero-sum
10. It isn't an intellectual debate.
You'll hear it -- Should someone who isn't "Christian"
celebrate Christmas? Should we also do Hanukkah? Have we
materialized Christmas so it has lost its meaning? Will we
offend someone? Is it a "religious" celebration or is it
My answer to this is, I'm at peace with my maker and my
fellow man in my heart, I understand my way is not the
only way, I see that nearly every culture celebrates
something this time of year for a reason
and why on
earth would you pass up any opportunity, ever, to celebrate,
spread joy, enjoy one another, give and receive, eat, drink
and be merry, and yes, worship?? Whatever face it wears,
bring it on!
Kwanzaa's cool for me. A chance to celebrate unity, self-
determination, collective work and responsiblity,
cooperative economics, purpose, creativity and faith?
Hey, don't leave me out!
Joy to the World!
©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ CoachT,
http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching for
all your needs -
transitions, resilience, career, relationships. Susan is
the author of "How to Get Her the Perfect Gift" and other
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