Tips For Creating A Happy Marriage
By Rachel Stone
With all the divorces that seem to be happening, what does it take to create a joyful, happy marriage? Simple consideration, love and respect go a long way. Yet, sometimes people need to know how to do this step by step. Here are some practical marriage tips that really help.
Being a Good Listener
A marriage is a partnership and sometimes one or the other of the partners is going to have a bad day. It could be due to something that happened at work or it could just be one of those days when everything seems to go wrong. Though it is easy to tell someone what they should have done after the fact, hindsight is much easier than experiencing the event in current time. Your spouse probably doesn't want to know what they should have done after the fact. They are already considering this themselves.
Be a willing listener. Usually this really improves most relationships. If your partner would like to know what they could have done better, they will ask for your advice. They may feel immensely better after getting their problem out in the open instead of keeping it bottled up inside.
Nobody enjoys being nagged at for things they have or have not done. This is one of the reasons for many failed marriages. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Would you like to be on the receiving end of the nagging you are doing? No, you would not.
Instead of nagging, learn to be quiet, to simply let go, or to find solutions together. A nice tip is to think about how important an issue is to you. If you really don't care about the issue - let the person do it their way even if it is not the way you would do it. Being considerate and treating each other like partners means nagging is not an option.
Share Your Lives
In most marriages today, both partners work. Even if your spouse does not work outside of the home, they still work around the house. Anyone who tells you being a stay at home parent is not work is fooling themselves. Irregardless of what type of job couples have, they need to have time to share the things that go on in their daily lives.
This is important to staying in touch with each others feelings. Each person can express themselves fully. This is very important to both partners. It does not take long to lose touch with each other if you are not sharing the small things as well as the bigger ones.
Do not forget to ask, "How was your day?" Some people make the mistake of bombarding their spouse with the events of their day as soon as they step through the door. What would happen if instead you make a pattern of always welcoming each other with love? When you know you will be welcomed with love when you come home, you look forward to coming home.
The Special Things
Doing nice things for each other can become a habit. Make his favorite meal or bring her flowers. The special things do not have to be gifts. It can be something as simple as leaving a note somewhere your spouse will find it to remind them how much they mean to you.
Give him a call sometime during the day just to say, "I love you." Take off early one day to take her to the movies. Doing the cooking or bringing home dinner when you know your partner has had a hard day is appreciated. Meet him for lunch and if you are close to a park, take a picnic.
Be Considerate of the Other Person's Feelings
Sometimes we get so caught up in our own feelings that we forget others have them as well. At such times it is easy to hurt their feelings. Though in a heated moment it can be difficult to think of another person, remember that this is your best friend and hurting their feelings may not be beneficial to the long term relationship. Never be above saying, "I am sorry." Being considerate and understanding is part of being a caring human being.
A happy marriage is intentionally created. Remember that your partner is special. Let your partner feel appreciated. Sometimes we get so used to someone being there, we never consider the alternative. Becoming too complacent and expecting everything to remain the same may one day cause you to have a rude awakening.
People love to feel special. When you cease to make someone feel they are important to you, they may find that feeling elsewhere. Be kind, be considerate, be there. A joyful marriage can be yours; it just takes two willing partners.
Build your own love filled habits so you can have a happy marriage that works for you. As a symbol of your love, give each other a wedding anniverysary ring.