Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to
help you pay the small attentions that are so integral to lasting intimacy.
- Day One:
- Spend 15 minutes kissing. Many married couples report that the simple act
of kissing is the first part of intimacy to disappear. Today, recapture the
power of the smooch.
- Day Two:
- Today, declare a personal moratorium on criticism. Pay attention to the
number of negative thoughts you have about the actions of your spouse. How
critical are you? How does being critical make you feel? Even when we don't
give voice to our criticism, it drains our energy and keeps us focused on
- Day Three:
- Call, email, or write your mother-in-law (or send a simple bouquet of
flowers). Let her know how grateful you are for her child.
- Day Four:
- Day Five:
- Reflect on your first date with your mate, writing down as many details as
you can remember. Now make plans to recreate it.
- Day Six:
- Spend tonight in your guest room. Pretend that you and your spouse are on
a romantic vacation in a distant port.
- Day Seven:
- What's your spouse's favorite cookie? Bake a batch.
- Day Eight:
- Tape-record a love message--sexy or sentimental--on a cassette tape. Put
it in your spouse's car with a Post-it note that says "Play Me."
- Day Nine:
- Declare today a Forgiveness Day. Are you holding a grudge, however deep,
about something your mate has done or said? Get to the bottom of it today.
Then work on letting it go.
- Day Ten:
- Assess your listening skills with your spouse. Just for today, slow down
and try not to interrupt.
- Day Eleven:
- Write a note and stash it where you know your spouse will find it some
time throughout the day. This can be as simple as a lipstick kiss on a
folded napkin or as elaborate as an original poem. (For a special touch,
fold a Hershey's kiss inside.)
- Day Twelve:
- Leave a sexy voice message on your mate's voicemail.
- Day Thirteen:
- Trying to control your spouse can lead to feelings of resentment and
disempowerment. Today, reflect on situations that make you want to control
or manipulate. Then work on letting go.
- List all the reasons you love your mate. For 15 minutes, just let your pen
move. Don't stop to think too hard about the task. Just write. Then present
- Day Fourteen:
- Ask the kids to write down a few of the things they love about your
parenting partner. Encourage them to be as specific as possible. Write them
down on slips of paper, put them in an envelope and place it on your
spouse's dashboard for a heartwarming surprise.
Now spend some time creating your own 15-minute romantic gifts
for one another.
Susie Michelle Cortright is the author of Rekindling
Your Romance after Kids and founder of
Momscape.com, where busy moms find balance. Visit today for her
free-course-by-email "Six Days to Less Stress" as well as special offers
on affordable luxuries and tips to help you be the best mom you can be: http://www.momscape.com